Downloadable stuff!

A collection of TTRPG scenarios and other things I've done down through the years.  Expect multiple changes as I decide on a nicer way to present it all.

Roleplaying Games

All manner of systems and settings, in no particular order. The writing is my own, but the games they're written FOR are the property of their respective owners, as you'd expect.

Quare Things In Dublin: A Fallout Game for 5 players

The call has been answered, as the elders of the tribal alliance had prayed. Word has travelled of ancient secrets recently uncovered, a chance to bring life back to the wastes, or to destroy what little the apocalypse missed. A thinking machine from the Beforetime that must not fall into evil hands. And so, eastward set out five heroes of iron will, steely muscle, lightning reflexes, and in one case titanium liver. They will face a harsh wasteland where men and monsters are not so easily distinguished, but in the uncertainty to come they know one truth:

War... War never feckin' changes.

This game uses a simplified version of the mechanics used in the original Fallout and Fallout 2, which is sort of like a percentile version of GURPS but with extremely damaging critical hit rules. It's not really intended for longer play, though it's certainly possible to make a campaign out of it...

Cthorporation: A Corporation Game for 5 players

Newburyport, Massachusetts is beyond cutting edge. A town devoted to biotechnology research, sponsored by Gemini Bioengineering Inc. Substantial resources have gone into keeping it free of interferance and observation from the Big Five, and the United International Government.

The entire town went completely dark an hour ago and lethal automated security protocols have quarantined the whole area, nothing gets in or out. The UIG believes Gemini was hiding something, and they are NOT pleased. They have arranged a trans-corporate team of investigators. Welcome to Innsmouth Bioresearch Station, Agents.

A very tongue-in-cheek nod to Call of Cthulhu classic location Innsmouth, with a cyberpunk twist. Lovecraft was a racist asshole and probably would have hated the idea of a multinational multi-ethnic team working together, so I wrote this as both areference to stories I really love and a "fuck you" to the man and his bigotry.

Depths of Hatred: A WoD "Witcher" Game for 5 players

A pirate lord ruled this land, once. Older folk tell stories about how he was more, or less, than human, and made dark pacts with darker powers for long life and victory in battle. Those powers claimed their due eventually, and his fleet was wrecked in its port overnight, all hands drowned.

A generation later, ships go missing; washed-up sailors mutter about a shadowy fleet that sails under a moonless sky, with crews who are more, or less, than human; Frightened villagers whisper of flickering lights in the windows of the old pirate lord's manor. In the midst of the wars with Nilfgaard, no ruler can spare soldiers to hunt this evil. Luckily, they have coin to pay anyone who will, because witchers, especially a group of them, don't work for free.

There's an official Witcher RPG out now by R Talsorian Games, and it's really quite good. Before that though we had to make do and while not my favourite system by a long shot, nWoD *is* very simple and straightforward, so it was ideal for a short one-shot adventure.

Things that Squeak in the Night: a Warhammer Fantasy (3rd ed.) game for 5 Players

"Listen quick-quick, worthless scum! I, the magnificent Grey Seer Squikrit, have a task for you! Succeed, and I yes-maybe allow you to remain servants to me, the greatest of your kind. Fail, and you pain-die a thousand times over by my paw! There is a man-thing in the filthy city above, yes, who gives me the secrets to his home's doom in the hope of gaining warpstone. Foolish man-thing. The time has come to pay him, yes-yes. But not with warpstone. Bring-take him to me alive..."

WFRP is a game very dear to my heart, and of all the "evil" races the Skaven are my favourite in terms of sheer malice mixed with comic relief. I had to make a game about them. By the way, the new 4th edition of WFRP is very good, and I heartily recommend it!

'ERE WE GO, 'ERE WE GO, 'ERE WE GO!: a Warhammer 40,000 Rogue Trader Game for 5 players

“Da Kaptinz log, day lotz an' wun more:

We'z in a spot uv bovver. Dere wuz a real good scrap jus' dere wiv dem humies wiv da spikes, an' we stomped 'em real gud, but lotz- OI! RITE DIS DOWN YA GITZ OR I'LL SMACK YA! But lotz uv da boyz iz ded an' we don't got enuff fer a big scrap now. Da boyz wot are left are da biggest, meanest an' kunnin'est boyz on dis side uv da galaxy, an wivout summink ta fite dey mite gang up on me. Dat won't do. So I'z got a kunnin' plan fer me an' da boyz ta get more orkz and make a fite wiv LOADZ uv fingz ta smash! I'z Kaptin Grimdreg, an' me an' da boyz iz gonna start a WAAAAAAAGH!"

Much as I love WFRP, the 40K RPGs are probably my greatest love, and Orks are just the MOST fun whether you're playing the tapletop wargame or pretending to be one. I ran this at Gaelcon one year and it was joint winner of the "best game of the con" award, we had to stop selling tickets for it because we ran out of people to run tables!

Untitled Cthulhu Game: A Horrible Geese game for up to 4 Players

Drawn together by chance, an unlikely team of intrepid Investigators found there was more to the burglary of an old library than met the eye. They followed the clues from Arkham Massachusetts to Prussia, then to London.  The signs all pointed to the quaint English village of Little Puckleborough, and a profane ritual to forgotten beings of such frightful, maddening scope and unspeakable countenance that the world itself should perish if it went unchecked.

But they were not prepared, and at the last hurdle, they fell. Those who weren't killed by raving cultists lost their minds, and are now a threat only to themselves. Now there is nobody to prevent the return of Shub-Niggurath and an eternity of suffering and madness... 

...except for four horrible geese.

Uses the Horrible Geese system written by Alex C at

I doubt much needs to be said about Untitled Goose Game by House House. It was truly one of the best video games of 2019, and spawned so many memes, so much fanart, it was inevitable someone would make an RPG. I thought it would be fun to mix it up with an actual plot, and if I may say so I quite like the story I wrote that puts the Horrible Geese into context. It's a shame that none of the players will care, because they are geese. Horrible Geese.

A Night to Remember: A Cthulhutech game for 5 Players

Let’s be honest, the nights around here don’t exactly fly past. Tonight is different though. Tonight you have been promised something special to break the monotony of your dreary, nocturnal routine. So you have decided to go along with the invite, motivated more by the desire to crush the boredom than curiosity. You’ve joined the others and let’s hope it really does end up being a night to remember and if it isn’t, what harm? What’s the worst that could happen?

NB: If you want to learn more about Cthulhutech, I must add a warning: The game prides itself on being "mature", but in practice that means that while the central premise is indeed a good one (giant robots beating Cthulhu horrors! Hell yes!), there's a lot, and I mean a LOT, of unpleasant crap in the fluff. The game and setting are good IF you cut out the half of it that casually brings up rape and torture and the adventures and supplements written by the creators are VERY heavy with quite upsetting juvenile ideas of what constitutes horror and evil. I absolutely do not condone any of the stupid shit in those books, and if you DO check them out, recommend you get them second hand. I understand there's a new edition in the works that acknowledges (some) criticism, but look, everyone deserves to be able to play an RPG knowing that they won't have horrific concepts thrown at them unless they expressly consent beforehand. This game was written as a challenge for Itzacon 2017. Three writers agreed on one introductory blurb, then went off and wrote their own take. The result was that threetables of players had equally enjoyable but wildly different experiences. One game was a fantasy affair, another was a tense investigation around the much fabled Hellfire Club in Dublin, Ireland. And I chose giant robots beating the snot out of cthonic horrors from beyond the shores of madness because why not?

Sex & The Second City: A Legend of the Five Rings (4th ed.) game for 5 Players

The Colonies are a place of strange sights and customs once unheard of in the Empire. It is the perfect place for a samurai lady aged thirtysomething to get away from boring suitors. Your playwright friend's upcoming new performance was just the excuse you all needed to escape to the Empire's newest city. Here lies adventure! Mystery! The chance to bag a suitable husband so you can avoid ending your days in a monastery! And maybe even romance, but don't get your hopes up.

I wrote this because of a running joke during our sessions of L5R where we were constantly referring to ourselves as Sex&TheCity characters, especially during sessions where our samurai were dealing with marriage proposals. I think it worked out pretty well for what's basically a 3-4 hour long shitpost.


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